title:Safe Zone(Self Zone)
Over the past several months, I have felt exhausted, depressed, anxious, and lacking appetite. I have nightmares and uncomfortable breathing. I tried to see a psychiatrist and found that I was depressed, along with the early symptoms of bipolar disorder. After that, the symptoms worsened and I started hurting myself by throwing fire on my arm and pinching my arms. When I am sad, my breathing becomes uncomfortable, and when I hurt myself, my feelings change and I become relieved.
This is a picture I drew when I felt uncomfortable and down, but I couldn't show it because there were family members whom I didn't want to worry about me, so I chose to paint it through painting. The picture shows the awkwardness of wanting to cry but not cry, even though I believe that if I let go of my feelings through tears in a small, comfortable space, those tears will help extinguish the fire in my heart. But I have to endure the uncomfortable feelings inside myself, venting in my own thoughts, creating a new safe space within myself. I need to sit down and talk to myself. I do not dare to be sad for anyone to see.